Written By Jessica Reimer
I still remember getting off the plane in Milan, realizing I had no idea where I was going and there was no one to rely on but myself. I was about to spend four months living and studying in a completely unfamiliar city, and even introducing myself at orientation felt overwhelming.
But the truth is, I had already been outside my comfort zone long before I arrived. Applying for exchange, committing to leave home, packing up my life, and saying goodbye to family and friends had taken months of hesitation and effort. I thought arriving in Milan would feel like the finish line, but it was only the beginning.
Before leaving, I felt both excited and terrified. I worried about fitting in, making friends, and whether I had made the right decision. Staying at SFU for another semester would have been easier, but comfort, while safe, can quietly limit what we discover about ourselves.
The first month in Milan was challenging in ways I couldn’t have fully prepared for. I was on my own, constantly figuring things out as I went. But over time, I realized that discomfort wasn’t something to avoid; it was the beginning of growth. That’s when I understood that the version of you waiting outside your comfort zone is often stronger than the one who stays inside it.
One of my first challenges was simply buying groceries. Armed with Google Translate, I wandered the aisles trying to figure out what I was buying. At self-checkout, I pressed the wrong buttons, awkwardly tried to explain my payment method with hand gestures to the cashier, and even set off the alarm by walking out the entrance instead of the exit. I remember feeling embarrassed, wondering why such a simple task suddenly felt so difficult. But moments like these taught me that being a beginner is uncomfortable and that’s okay. Instead of seeing these moments as failures, I started seeing them as proof that I was learning.
I reluctantly signed up for the exchange student speed-friending event. Never before had I willingly put myself in a room where I had to meet 50 strangers through one-on-one conversations. I spent the entire day dreading it, convinced I wouldn’t know what to say. But, as each conversation passed, my nerves turned into confidence, and I began to genuinely enjoy meeting people from all over the world. Some of the people I met that day are still friends I catch up with today. That experience taught me that confidence isn’t something I had before taking action; it was something that grew because I took action.
As my exchange continued, saying yes became a habit. I travelled with people I had only recently met, went paragliding in the Dolomites, rode camels in the Sahara Desert, and squeezed trips between exams that I never would’ve attempted before. None of these experiences felt comfortable in the moment, but they became some of the most memorable parts of my exchange. Growth rarely came from the moments I had planned, but the moments I almost talked myself out of.
My exchange ended, but the version of myself I discovered abroad came home with me. I discovered parts of myself abroad, like independence, resilience, confidence, and adaptability, that I hadn’t fully recognized before. I felt a kind of joy and freedom in how I lived, like I was finally becoming someone I had always had the potential to be. While I do recommend exchange to anyone and everyone, I learned that this kind of growth doesn’t require moving across the world. Sometimes it begins by joining a club, applying for an opportunity, speaking up in class, or introducing yourself to someone new. Try something new!
Studying abroad changed my location, but more importantly, it changed my relationship with discomfort. I learned that the moments that scare us often become the moments that shape us. The version of you waiting outside your comfort zone may not be perfect or fearless, but it is worth meeting. It may be stronger, more capable, and more confident than you ever imagined.