Photo by George Pak on Pexels
Written by: Mahnoor Wasim
In high school, I was probably the last person anyone would describe as social or involved. I had three close friends, rarely talked to anyone outside of them, and avoided putting myself in situations where I would have to meet new people. I was also extremely unmotivated. I skipped classes constantly, sometimes only went to school two or three days a week, wasn’t involved in any extracurriculars, and spent most of my free time in bed. It felt like there was always a storm cloud over my head. The less I did, the less motivated I felt to do anything, and my anxiety made it even easier to stay in that cycle.
When I started university, I knew I didn’t want the next four years to look like high school. I decided that even if it made me uncomfortable, I was going to actually put myself out there. I started talking to people in my classes, going to events, applying for opportunities, and joining clubs. I’m now involved in four clubs at SFU, including SFU LYFE, and my university experience looks completely different from what I would have imagined a few years ago.
The biggest surprise was realizing how much being social helped with the things that had made me avoid socializing in the first place. Having good company gave me reasons to get out of the house and made university something I actually looked forward to. The more people I met, the less anxious I became about introducing myself or walking into a room where I didn’t know anyone. I became more confident without even realizing it was happening.
In high school, people sometimes described me as unapproachable, antisocial, or even rude because of how closed off I was. Recently, one of my new friends told me she could not remember ever seeing me without a smile on my face. That stuck with me because I realized just how different I had become.
I also learned that being productive doesn’t mean your entire life has to revolve around being productive. Having friends and making time to go out, laugh, and enjoy myself a couple of days a week actually motivates me to work harder the rest of the time. Instead of feeling like school is my entire life, I have something to look forward to.
Putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable, especially when anxiety is telling you to do the opposite. But you don’t have to completely change overnight. Talk to one person in your class, attend one event, or apply for one club that interests you. Sometimes motivation doesn’t come before you start living differently. Sometimes you have to take the first step, and the motivation follows.