It’s pretty hard to change your behavior. Only 19% of people who make New Year’s resolutions actually succeed over a 2-year period. Most fail within six months.
I know I have. Probably you have, too.
No matter who you are, change is uncomfortable. We get complacent. Even when we do manage to get the ball rolling on a new habit or positive lifestyle change, it often falls short. In no time, we return to our old ways.
So, what’s the solution? How do we stick with the changes we set for ourselves in the long run? It’s simpler than you might expect.
Behavior change is rooted in a shift in identity
Your input shapes your outlook, and your outlook shapes your behavior.
Most people view themselves in a very powerless way. They have a negative story about themselves. This comes at a cost, however, because how you see yourself is oftentimes how you act.
If you’re someone who stays up until three in the morning, you will identify as a person who stays up until three in the morning. You internally justify, this is who I am. And when you try to act up where you want to be — in this case, wake up earlier — you’re actually acting in conflict with how you see yourself. That never works.
The first step in changing your behavior involves seeing yourself from the circumstances you hope to have, rather than from the circumstances in which you currently stand.
If you want to become smarter, stronger, healthier, more knowledgeable, save more money, and wake up earlier, identify yourself as a smart, strong, healthy, knowledgeable, and money savvy early bird.
Then and only then can you take necessary action towards your newfound self. You do so because that’s just who you are. Because your behavior is now in alignment with how you see yourself. And those actions you take go onto perpetuate your new identity.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. “— James Clear, Atomic Habits
See yourself as a reader, commit to reading one page of a book every day, and soon you will become a person who reads. See yourself as an active individual, commit to taking a 15-minute walk once a day, every day, and soon you will become a person who is active.
Notice I use the word commit. Because besides identity shift, successful behavior change also requires commitment. Not just any kind of commitment — 100% commitment, nothing less.
There will be times where you genuinely don’t feel like it, and that’s when the 100% rule comes in handy.
The 100% Rule — and the fault of 98% commitment
The 100% rule is as Jack Canfield, best-selling author of The Success Principles, puts it: “99 percent is a bitch. 100 percent is a breeze.” Or according to Harvard business professor Clayton Christianson:
100% commitment is easier than 98% commitment.
It’s a simple idea — when you’re fully committed to something, you’re far more likely to stay with it and not flake out compared to if you don’t make that commitment. But why?
What’s the difference between 98% commitment and 100% commitment? Mathematically, not much. There should be no difference. But there is — bigtime.
Let me illustrate.
Scenario: You’re at a swimming pool and decide you want to jump off the diving board. 100% means you got up there and jumped. Let me ask you, what the heck is a 98% jump? That’s right, there’s no such thing. You either jumped or you didn’t. With 98% commitment, you’re not actually committed.
100% commitment means you do the thing you set out to do. You DECIDE. See, the Latin root of the word “decision” means to cut off all alternative options, so when you decide to do something (aka. 100% commit), you just do the thing, no questions asked.
98% commitment gives you an outing. It relies on willpower, and willpower often doesn’t work. Should I go to the gym? I’m already so tired. Ugh, the alarm is going off, maybe I can snooze for another 15 minutes. Sound familiar? Basically, “it happens if it happens.”
100% commitment frees you from the mental tug of war of “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts,” because that decision of whether you should or shouldn’t do something has already been made. It’s 100% easier to do something or say no to something when you don’t make exceptions.
“Once I made a decision, I never thought about it again.” — Michael Jordan
Moving forward
If you want to make long-lasting changes in your life, take a two-pronged approach. 1) Identify yourself with the person you want to be, and 2) use the 100% rule to make positive behaviors committal and non-negotiables.
You might be tempted to “try it out” for 30 days to see how you like it. That’s an okay start (most fad diets fail, by the way). But here’s an even better question to ask yourself: “what would happen if I did this for the rest of my life?”
Literally imagine yourself at 90, or some date far off into the future. If you kept doing this thing or stopped doing this thing, how would you feel? Picture how your life would be. As Steven Covey would say, “begin with the end in mind.”
For me, I’ve used the 100% rule to become less attached to my phone. I haven’t touched it in a solid week. I just don’t use it anymore. At least not to waste time. I feel free — and I certainly don’t plan to go back anytime soon. I wonder how things will turn out. I’m guessing, pretty well.
But enough about me, what about you?
Ask yourself:
- What are some of the things I’ve been resisting?
- What are the things that I’ve been thinking of doing but haven’t?
- What change in my life have I been wanting to make?
These are your 98% commitments (…or 17%, 82%, 64% commitments — it’s a spectrum). Everyone has them, *cough* New Year’s resolutions. They’re the things you know you need to do but aren’t yet doing. So when will you do them? Tomorrow? Next week/month/year? In 2 years?
How much more time are you willing to hand out like Costco food samples until you finally, finally commit?
Since you’re reading this, I assume you want your life to get better — in whatever small way it can. So choose now. Choose today. Because if not now, when? In the words of the great Benjamin Franklin:
Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
Final Thoughts
Usually, divorces are emotional hell zones to get through — usually. Sometimes they’re just annoying. My divorce was graceful. Don’t feel sorry for me, as soon as I got out of the relationship, I realized I hated the b*tch. To be clear, I’m talking about my phone.
I wasted an ungodly amount of time on that thing.
In fact, I wasted a considerable amount of time just contemplating if I should take the plunge. Then I came to terms with life — that I only have one shot at-bat. That by idling my engine, I would be taking a backseat in life only to die in my car from carbon monoxide poisoning.
A black 5.95″ by 2.85″ piece of manufactured crap was controlling. my. life. That was me. That was who I was.
I decided that’s not who I wanted to be anymore. And then I committed to changing this part of myself forever — 100%.
You can do the same.
This article is based on organizational psychologist Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s TED Talk, “The 100 Percent Rule That Will Change Your Life.” Watch it here.